Her Little Bird
by NatashaandClint
Summary: Natasha always knew her past would catch up to her. But she didn't expect Clint to pay her price. Well I didn't tell anyone, but a bird flew by. Saw what I'd done. He set up a nest outside, and he sang about what I'd become. He sang so loud, sang so clear. I was afraid all the neighbours would hear, So I invited him in, just to reason with him. I promised I wouldn't do it again.
1. Prologue

_Well I didn't tell anyone, but a bird flew by._  
_Saw what I'd done. He set up a nest outside,_  
_and he sang about what I'd become._  
_He sang so loud, sang so clear._  
_I was afraid all the neighbours would hear,_  
_So I invited him in, just to reason with him._  
_I promised I wouldn't do it again._

* * *

Prologue

"A gift?" It was a foreign concept; she did not have possessions, let alone anyone to give them to her.

"To teach you responsibility," her tutor had told her. The tiny bird was a brilliant color, it's trill sweet and melodic, and in the stark steel-and-concrete industrial environment it stood out sharply, another jewel in the heart of Russia.

She named it Opal.

Opal's sweet voice sang whenever she was around. In the morning she would wake up to its sweet voice and at night it would sing her a lullaby. She fed it from the palm of her hand; she cared for it with all her heart. It was the 1 piece of happiness she had.

And over the course of the year, the flash of turquoise in the corner was the one thing she'd had to herself since she'd been brought here. It was the color of the sky as she imagined it — the younger recruits so rarely saw the actual sky — but it didn't matter because she owned it. She had the whole sky in a cage in her quarters.

And it sang for her.

Then one day her tutor walked in, picked up the bird, and snapped his neck. He waited for her to react; only she didn't. She let nothing slip. It was a test, it was always a test, and she never failed. She kept a blank face and looked her tutor in the eye, not a tear in sight. She felt cold, empty, nothing.

"You've done well"

That night, there was no song to sing her to sleep.

And for a while, Natasha Romanoff forgot the color of the sky.

**A/N: Based off a drabble found on tumblr. Unfortunatly I lost the post but if you know the URL of the person who wrote this drabble please msg me I'd be more than happy to credit them **


	2. Chapter 1

_But he sang louder and louder inside the house,_  
_And no I couldn't get him out._  
_So I trapped him under a cardboard box._  
_stood on it to make him stop._  
_I picked up the bird and above the din I said_  
_"That's the last song you'll ever sing"._  
_Held him down, broke his neck,_  
_Taught him a lesson he wouldn't forget._

* * *

_Chapter 1_

__Natasha woke up groggily. Her arms felt like jelly, her limbs sore and her mind still fuzzy. She tried to force herself to move but the bindings were to strong. Slow movements turned into desperate tugs at the rope that held her to the chair. A chair, it had to be a chair. It was as if villains found amusement in tying her to chairs of all things. Her eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness of the room. The room was small; small, empty, and sterile. The air smelled fresh of disinfectant and sterility, the smell she knew too well. Possible guesses were that she was in a hosiptal lr a germaphobic's hideout. But she knew better. It was the room she promised herself she would never return to. She would rather die than return to this wretched place. And yet she is back, restrained, she couldn't even take her own life. The sound off a low washed out groan sounded through out the room. Natasha's head snapped to the side.

"Clint?"

"Mmhmm?" that was the only reply from the blonde as he tugged against the bindings.

"Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

"Yup just..chilling. Hey, where are we?" Natasha's face hardened. The memories kept coming back, washing over her like a plague.

"I have an ide-"

"Red Room. You're in the Red Room Agent Barton."

A strong voice echoed into Clint's ears. Natasha tensed at the familiarity of the voice as the man flicked on the lights and strutted to the center of the room.

"Welcome home Natalia, we 've come to see how well you've been taking care of Opal".

Natasha's jaw tightened. So this was it all along, this is what it's all about. Natasha now understood everything, Clint did not. Clint's blue eyes went back and forth between the two

"New Opal? What the hell is a Opal?"

"It's you."

The man smirked as he slowly made his way to stand behind Clint. He rest his hands on Clint's shoulders. Natasha shook her head, but didn't make a sound.

"You mean you don't remember Opal? Your bird?"

The man gave Clint's shoulders a soft squeeze and smiled a smile that sent chills down Natasha back. She knew what was coming next. She knew she had to find a way to get out. A way to break free. A bitter laugh escaped the man's lips as he watched her eyes wander around the room, looking for an escape.

"I'm completely lost, what do you mean I'm her bird?"

The man raised his hands to either side of Clint's head. Clint tried his best to look up at the man but struggled against his hands.

"You see Natalia meeting the hawk was not by chance but by design. You formed a bond one that can only be broken by death."

He reached around Clint's face and gripped Clint's chin in his hand keeping the other hand on the back of Clint's head. Gripping his hair in his fist. Natasha knew what would happen next. It was all coming together. Everything was a lie, a test. Like It always was.

"Tasha?"Clint glanced at Natasha.

For once in Clint's short life he didn't have a smart come back. He was confused and lost. He did understand the following events. What was about to happen. It bothered him that Natasha had to sit and watch while he was killed. He tried with every ounce of energy he had to pull free from the Mans grasp.

"Tasha listen to me ok? Whatever this Girl Scout on steroids is planing. Don't do it. Run like hell and don't look back," Clint gave a small sad smile still struggling with all he had.

Natasha met his eyes. Her face showed no emotion. It pained him to see her this way, she can't shut her emotions off again, not now, not after everything they've been through. But Natasha went robotic again. Like she always did, he knew she felt nothing. A part of him was disappointed at the fact that she didn't care about his death, the other part was glad, he didn't want her to mourn. After all he was a soldier, soldiers always die right?

The man chucked again and winded up for a twist. But something in Natasha's eyes caught his attention. Her facial features were sullen but her eyes was almost.. Apologetic?

"I'm sorry Clint, I'm so sorry I had to pull you into this." He never knew eyes could speak until this day but he almost heard her voice in his head.

"Thanks Tasha, for being my part-"

The end of the sentence was cut short by a loud snapping sound. The last thing he saw were those apologetic green eyes. The world around Clint began to fade into darkness. He felt numb. Then, nothing at all. No pain, not numbness nothing. Clint's head bowed, completely limp. His neck twisted in a awkward position. The man moved his hands back to Clint's shoulders and waited for Natasha's reaction.

**A/N: Special thanks to Clint (I don't remember your account name sorry) for writing your own death. Love ya birdie.**


	3. Chapter 2

_But in my dreams began to creep_  
_that old familiar tweet tweet tweet_

* * *

_Chapter 2_

Only she didn't react. It was a test and she never fails.

The man looked at her with curiosity and interest but seeing nothing in the widow's face that showed she cared for this man. She stared at Clint's dead body with no despair, no sorrow, no regret. As if he was another scheduled kill. After a long moment she lifted her head to meet the man's eyes.

"Are we done here?" she asked. Her voice free of any suggestive emotion. She let nothing slip.

He was impressed by far. His little girl, Natalia, was by far his greatest success. He snapped his fingers and two of his men appeared, both quickly working to free Natasha of her bindings.

"Well done, Natalia, I am impressed."

"Karpov, I think you have some explaining to do." Natasha rubbed her sore wrists casually. She showed no emotion at all.

"Very well..."

So he explains. Barton was a target, he always was. But he was at the wrong place, at the wrong time. So they picked him. The trail SHIELD had followed to find her was not a "careless accident" as she thought before. It was planted. By the dirty hands of the ones who created her. They exposed her knowing she will be sent to be killed. Barton spared her life, it was planned. It was all planned. They knew it would happen, they had been watching her, and just when she thought she was free, they pulled her back into her cage and slammed the door shut. Again. But this time Clint had paid the price.

She was thrown back in her old room. Kept under lock and key. A prisoner of course, they didn't trust her and she understood why. She didn't try to escape, minutes became hours, hours became days, days became weeks. Eventually she lost track of time in her solitary confinement. She was sure she'd been there for weeks, maybe even months. But she wasn't bored. She was never bored, she had too much to think about.

She often thought about Clint. She still half expects him to bust through the door and throw her some weaponry. Tell her to hurry her ass up then start running in a pace semi-challenging for her to follow. She wasn't one for fairytales. But she felt like a damsel, and she hated it. She was almost disgusted at the thought of being a weeping damsel falling to her knees for the first handsome man she lays her eyes on. She didn't need a knight to fight her battles for her, she can take care of herself. In her mind, her knight in shining armor never existed. Wait he did exist.. Or did at least. She never really came to the realization of it until now. Clint Barton was the knight. Surely he didn't save her from dragons nor had to protect her in the war field, but he did rescue her, he saved her from herself.

She recalled some of her old memories she had with him. Late night stakeouts, undercover operations, disguises. She remembered the very first mission they sent her on. Of course, she was partnered with Clint. They didn't trust her at that time and Clint apparently, was the only one who wasn't afraid of being killed at night by the widow. She remembered being completely pissed off at the fact that she had to play a married couple with him. They didn't get along in the beginning, they were 2 very different people. If someone went back in time and told Natasha she and Clint would become best friends, she would probably laugh and say "that's ridiculous". She couldn't even stand being in the same room as him for 5 minutes without trying to kill him. But now things changed. A lot.

Now she can't stand being away from him. Surely they were occasionally sent on missions alone. Rarely did either of them come back with anything more than a paper cut and a bruise. She remembered the first time one of them had gotten themselves in some trouble. She was going through some paperwork when Coulson had told her Clint was in the hospital. Natasha hated hospitals. The sterile walls reminded her too much of her days in Red Room. She was terrified, and now being back in that very same place terrified her even more.

But Natasha couldn't stop herself from paying him a visit anyway. So she did. She came into his room while he was asleep. She stayed silent, studying his every wound until he woke. He woke up of course, glad to see her, and that was when she broke.

"Hospitals are where people come to die." she had said.

She had expected Clint's response to be witty, sarcastic, and to laugh at the pathetic thought of him dying. But instead he had stroked her hair and said,

"I'm not going to die here, not in a hospital, Tasha."

She understood what he had meant. He knew she was asking for something she would never say outloud. She was masking what she really wanted to say: "Promise you'll never leave me, Barton." Clint knew that he couldn't make that promise. One of them will have to go eventually. Clint would rather it be him than Natasha.

"Don't think you can get rid of me that easily." he added with a slight smirk. That earned him both a glare and a bad attempt to hide a smile from Natasha.

After his recovery things went back to normal. Eventually he had to leave again for another solo mission. Natasha couldn't help but think of the worst case scenarios. She grew uneasy and slightly more paranoid the longer she didn't hear back from him. No one noticed of course, she was too good at hiding her emotions. She didn't talk to anyone about it, she couldn't bring herself to talk to anyone else but Clint about these things. So she tried to take her mind off the matter and spent some time in the training room. She would stay there past hours and even overnight. No one had enough courage to tell her to leave. The trainers, after seeing what she can do with a punching bag, even gave her the keys to unlock the gym whenever she wanted. So she would fight and shoot and fight and shoot until one day, Coulson told her Clint was back. Safe and unharmed.

Upon seeing her partner's safe return she wanted to greet him with a smile, a hug, or even a kiss. But instead she kept her ground and gave a slight nod. The flood of relief when he comes back safe from a mission was something Natasha looked forward to each time he left.

Lost in her memory, Natasha found herself trying to count the days until Clint comes back. Then to be reminded by the foul smelling of chemicals of her chamber that Clint was gone. He won't be returning. Not this time. Not ever.

She felt her eyes burn a slight bit but she quickly blinked the feelings away noticing the security camera in the top corner of her cell. She hadn't moved a muscle other than to eat, sleep, or use the facilities. She was fairly certain the people behind the camera grew bored of watching her. For they could only see the outside, they had no idea what was happening inside her mind.

She grew to accept her daily routine. Surely she was no fan of being confined but her mind was her escape. She lived in her circle of memories knowing she will lose them if she ever showed signs of having them. As far as her superiors were concerned, Natasha had no feeling whatsoever to Clint Barton. And as long as that what they believed, she could keep her mind. For a while longer anyway.

She woke up one morning and dragged herself to the small bathroom installed in her chambers. She turned the noisy tap on and splashed water on her face. As she turned the tap off she heard the faintest sound of moving objects beneath her. Suddenly the tile beside her foot disappeared and was replaced by a familiar face she hadn't seen for so long.

"Oh hey Nat! Finally I found you!" Her pesky spotted-eye friend greeted. Natasha furrowed her brow in disbelief, was she dreaming?

"Dom?" the name slid off her tongue easily, "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm here to bust you out of your tower, Princess."

Normally Natasha would have scowled at the use of her nickname. But she was too shocked formulate a proper death threat.

"Dom if I don't walk out of the bathroom in 3 minutes they will think that I'm either trying to escape or having irregular bowel movements!" Natasha hissed

"They have you on a bathroom schedule? Woah TMI. Well that means you have 3 minutes to escape. Suit up."

Dom's head disappeared for a second and her hand reached up holding a well folded catsuit. She recognizes it to be one of her spares. Giving her the peace sign Dom disappeared into the hole and gave her some privacy as she dressed. She slid into the familiar fabric easily before hopping down the hole. She fastened the tile back in place just as Dom threw her a pistol.

"Great now let's find Tweety and get the hell out of here. This place gives me the creeps."

Hearing the nickname Dom had given Clint made Natasha's chest tighten.

"He's dead Dom."

"Clint's dead?" Her shoulders rose up as if she was about to start crying, but they descended quickly, making her look like someone cut the strings of a figurine. Confusion and hurt washed over the mutant's face as she mumbled, "Bastard broke his promise" After straightening and glancing at her watch, she simply stated, "Two minutes before they notice you're gone."

An uncomfortable silence resonated between the two killers and throughout the abandoned pipes. Domino strode forward with a half-broken air about her. The missing exclamation points widened the distance between them. Natasha could feel her friend slipping away. Eyes glazed over, she remained silent, a unusual feat in itself, and every inch of her radiated in hostility.

"Let's blow this place down" Dom said as they reached the edges of the complex. The door was left unlocked, no doubt Dom had planned every move with careful precision. They were probably starting to suspect Natasha's mysteriously long bathroom break. So they worked quickly; planting charges at the key stress points of the building. The com link between them remained eerie quiet through the entire job. As much as she hated to admit it, Natasha missed hearing Dom's witty remarks and occasional mischievous laugher. The link also felt shorter and they both knew why. One of the earpieces were turned off. The one that was meant for Clint to use. Neither of them spoke of his name anymore. Neither of them knew what to say.

"We're clear here." Natasha reported as she ran to the rendezvous point.

"Same here."

When they were both out of range Dom pushed a button and watched the building go down in flames. Screams of terror and confusion erupted but Natasha had no sympathy for them. They watched at the building crumbled, the building Natasha had feared since she was a child. She used to imagine what this day would be like, finally being free from her past. Watching as the ones who broke her now being broken by her. She imagined a sense of freedom, relief, and most of all, happiness. Yet watching what she had envisioned in her mind so many times 10 miles in front of her, she had felt no such thing. Instead she felt cold. She found slight joy in watching her enemies perish, this was revenge. She wanted revenge. She wanted to kill. She wanted to spill blood.

**A/N: Special thanks to my best friend and sister Domino for writing her own reaction. Damn I love you way too much Dommy.**


	4. Chapter 3

_I opened my mouth to scream and shout,_  
_I waved my arms and flapped about._  
_But I couldn't scream and I couldn't shout,_  
_couldn't scream and I couldn't shout._  
_I opened my mouth to scream and shout_  
_waved my arms and flapped about_  
_But I couldn't scream I couldn't shout,_  
_The song was coming from my mouth._

* * *

_Chapter 3_

Natasha thought the funeral was the most pathetic thing she had ever been required to attend. There was no body so they were to bury an empty coffin. Natasha saw no point in that. She was expected to stand in front of an audience and speak her mind about Clint. But how could she? No one would understand anyway.

Yet there she stood in her little black dress ready to pay her respects along with all the other agents and friends of Clint's. There was an empty chair beside her, Dom's chair. She knew Dom wouldn't be showing up. She never shows up for funerals.

"People like us, we're soldiers, we die all the time."

The last she had heard from her was after they returned to SHIELD. Domino had filled out some paperwork of their safe return and necessary clean up crew. Then she left without another word. No call, no text, nothing. She knew that Dom wouldn't be returning to SHIELD, not if Clint wasn't there. Things got back to normal. But the absence of both her friends was heavy in Natasha's heart. She knew she would grow fond of her loneliness eventually. She always does. People in her life die over and over again. She learned to accept that and move on.

A few weeks later Natasha had gone over to Clint's old apartment to pack up some of his old stuff. His apartment wasnt that big, small rattle place he calls home. Natasha's been there a few times. But she never stays long. Once or twice she would come by and drop off some paperwork.

"He's really gone isn't he?" a voice came from behind. Natasha's head turned towards the open door and saw a woman carrying a baby. Neither of them she recognized.

"I'm.. Sorry?" she asked uncertainly

"Clint Barton. He's dead isn't he?" the woman asked. Natasha saw that tears had began forming in her eyes. "Such a shame... He was a good man."

"You knew him?"

"I knew of him." the woman answered. "The man had a good heart. He bought the entire building himself and gave it to us, all of us."

Now Natasha understood why Clint choose to stay in this building. It was his apartment—was.

"They doubled and tripled our rent. Some of us couldn't afford it. So they kicked us out. Luckily Clint was there. If it wasn't for him, young Daniel would have grown up on the streets." She chuckled as the baby squealed in delight in her arms, "You see, Daniel's father left us. Leaving me with the children alone. We could barely afford the rent before they doubled it."

Natasha was surprised. She didn't expect Clint to be a people's person. In her own heart she ached guilt. While Clint helped them, she killed them.

"How do you know him, hun?"

"What?"

"Clint. He never mentioned a woman in his life. Then again the man rarely speaks. We're you two... Together?"

Natasha blinked, "What? No um... He's a colleague of mine."

"Colleague? He never talked about where he found employment. I heard he died in the line of work."

Line of work? No he died because of me. Natasha silently thought. But she couldn't tell this woman. She couldn't tell anyone, so instead she just nodded.

"I'm sorry for your loss." the woman sighed. The child in her arms started to grow anxious so she excused herself and left Natasha alone.

She walked around the apartment unsure of what to touch and not touch. Beneath his bed she found a safe box. She debated wether or not to open it seeing she would be invading his privacy. Then again he was a dead man, if she didn't open it someone would have. The fiddled with the lock until she grew tired of guessing. Nothing. She pushed the box aside and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration.

"Clint you are impossible." she breathed. Then she paused. Picking up the box again she realized it required 3 2-digit numbers. A date perhaps. She tried his birthday, nothing. The day he joined SHIELD, nothing. The day they defeated Loki, nothing. Then she tried the day they were sent to Budapest and the lock clicked open.

She reached inside and found a dog bowl along with a collar.

"Arrow"

Natasha would have laughed at the name if she wasn't shocked at the fact that Clint had a dog. Reaching further inside she found en envelope that contained his will. Natasha was surpised to find that he had signed his belongings over to 3 people: Domino, Barney, and herself. The only family Clint Barton had.

After her short visit she had walked down to the nearby bar. Clint's favorite place to be when he was upset. She was surpised to learn that Dom still comes over every night and fills up on liquor. Natasha signed at her friend's drinking habits, then again it would be hypocrital for her to insult her about it. Dom comes by th bar the same time every night. Natasha thought of approaching her many times but never brought herself to do it. Now as she gazed at her empty seat, she wished she could have heard Dom's final words to Clint.

The day dragged on, everyone had a chance to speak. Natasha had never seen Nick Fury in a suit until today. Nor did she ever see him cry. She could have laughed at the image of hard-as-stone boss tearing up. Everyone would have if this was any other occasion. Coulson and Hill were there too. Coulson seems to be having it worst than most others. After all had been Clint's supervisor for years before Natasha had joined.

Most guests happened to be shield agents, young recruits to be more exact. Natasha thought it was ironic how Clint hated dealing with new recruits yet most of the people who appeared at his funeral were his own students.

Most of them had said the same thing: He was a great teacher, inspirational leader, hero. Clint would have laughed and said he was just a guy with a bow. Clint had never believed himself to be a hero. He never thought he fit in the Avengers. Speaking of the Avengers everyone on the team showed up. Even Thor and Loki had traveled from Asgard to Earth to pay their respects. Each of the Avengers had something special to say, even Loki. Natasha would have thought his return would spark security and safety threat. But Loki didn't seem dangerous at that point. In fact he just looked hurt. Nat wondered what his relationship with Clint was. Surely it stretch more than the 48 hours he had him for a mind slave.

Finally it was Natasha turn to speak. She walked up to the podium and unfolded a piece of paper she had subconsciously crumpled throughout the entire ceremony. She started to speak but her throat was suddenly dry. The scribbled letters on the page seemed to form something other than readable words. She stuttered into the mic, unable to get the first word out.

"Cl... Cl.. Clint-"

"Clint Barton was one of the most highly respected agents of SHIELD." a deeper voice came behind her and a comforting hand has appeared on her shoulder. She turned her head and recognize the face of Clint's older brother, Barney Barton who also came dressed for the occasion.

"He was known throughout for his impressive archery skills as well as being one of the top ranking assassins in the world." he continued reading from the paper. Then he turned to Natasha and gave her an encouraging smile gesturing for her to continue.

"When I first him met him, I didn't think of him as any different than any other avenger man with a gun. He proved me wrong." the words came easier than before, "He showed me there was more to him than just fancy arrows. He had a sense of humor many don't know about. He was more than my partner. He was my best friend. In his own way he changed me. Made me a better person. I learned a lot from this man, young as he may be but wisdom he lacks not. Clint Barton had been by my side for both the good and bad times. He has watched over me like a guardian angel. Now he is an angel. Clint Barton was an amazing man. He never thought of himself as a hero, but he was no doubt one even thought he may not have recognized it. Clint Barton was more than just a man with an arrow, he was my partner, my best friend, and my savior. So today I'm here to say farewell and thank him for all the things he has done for his country, the world, and for me. Clint Barton may you rest in peace. Your friend and partner, Tasha."

Near the bottom of the page were 3 words she had scratched out. 3 words she couldn't bring herself to say over an empty casket.

Everybody's eyes were tear soaked by the end of her speech. Everyone except Natasha's. Her face was the only one that remained dry, emotionless. Natasha stepped down from the podium as Barney took her spot. He delivered a speech of Clint's time in the circus, nothing Natasha hadn't heard before. She was surprised Barney would even show up for his brother's funeral. After all for as long as Natasha knew him, he had an unsettling grudge against Clint. But now he was standing there delivering words Natasha never thought she would hear him say. She wished that Clint had heard them, it would make it life complete. She wished he knew that Barney, after all they've been through, still loved him like a little brother. After all he was the only real family Clint had left.

After his speech he stepped down and was immediately approached by Natasha who pulled him aside and out of earshot of everyone else.

"Something wrong Romanoff?" He asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Why did you help me?" She snapped

"You're angry because I helped you in your moment of stage fright?" Barney laughed. Now this was more like the him.

"I wasn't having a stage fright! I was just taking a breather. Why did you show up anyway? I though you would be more than happy to see your brother dead."

"I am happy. At the same time he's still my brother." Barney's face grew serious, "As much as I hate him I can't ignore the fact that we are blood related wether we like it or not."

Natasha was rendered speechless.

"But what would you know? You're just another orphan they picked off the streets."

And with that he walked off leaving Natasha both shocked and speechless.

**A/N: Wrote this at midnight, sorry if it's a bit rushed.**


	5. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

Natasha woke up half expecting bird calls to fill her ears. Instead she heard a sweet melodic tweet. She turned to the window and saw a magnificent blue bird perched on the widowstill.

She could almost see her child self running towards the window yelling "Opal! You're back!"

But she wasn't a child anymore.

The bird continued to tweet as she pulled herself off the bed. As she approached the window the bird kept tweeting. But quickly did it fly away once she came close to an arms reach. The bird flew away still tweeting as if he was laughing at her. For once in a long while, Natasha found herself smiling. The bird flew further and further away until it could no longer be seen.

Hey Clint, looks like you finally learned how to fly.

**A/N: So what do you think? Comment are always welcome 3**

**Song: Bird Song - Florence and the Machine**


End file.
